Random Thoughts

Sometimes people annoy me.  Sometimes life is a little ridiculous.  Sometimes I think I'm the only person in the world who sees things the way they should be.  I know, I sound a bit egotistical but honestly I'm not.  It's just that......well....c'mon people, really?

So, I thought I'd share some of the things that randomly go through my head.  Some people should read this and take my advice.  Some are just thoughts.

1. If you are going to pull out in front of my fast moving vehicle, PLEASE at least go as fast as I was going.  I like my cruise control - I do not like my brakes.
2. I hate when people talk during a movie.  Especially a really good movie that I've already seen and I want them to watch.  Then, when they don't love it the way I do, something must be wrong with them. 
3. The same goes for a great song.  I want you to listen to the lyrics - be quiet and listen!
4. I'm sure you really enjoy the food you eat.  I don't want to hear you enjoy it.  Close your mouth.
5. If you can't talk on a phone and drive at the same time, quit doing one or the other.
6. Am I bored?  Or am I hungry?  Sometimes I can't tell the difference.
7. I hate asking "What?" when I didn't hear what you said.  Speak clearly, I don't understand mumblese.
8. Toddlers with pacifiers.  Enough said.
9. I'm pretty sure that every time I leave my house in my PJ's and no makeup, I run into someone I haven't seen in forever.  Really???  No, I do NOT look like this all the time!
10. Have you ever missed a call by half a second then you call that person back right away, they don't answer?  Where did you go???  You JUST called me!
11. I do NOT have a PhD.  I am NOT Dr. Phil.  I love you, seek help from someone who gets paid for it.  I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to say when my people complain about a problem that is a direct consequence of their actions.
12. I set my facebook profile to private because I don't want stalkers.  I however, like to stalk on facebook and I love when people show all their info!  No, I do not want to be your friend, but I will definitely scope out your profile.
13. I want to eat a starfruit, but I have no clue how to do it.  Do you peel it?  Just dig in?  I honestly had to look up directions on how to eat a pomegranate, too. 
14. YOU are the parent, not your child.
15. Of all the thousands of medications, why haven't they invented any cool ones yet?  The magic weight loss pill (I don't WANT to go on a diet, I just want a magic pill), the smart pill, the pretty pill, the magic tan pill....
16. I can tell when someone doesn't like me.  Why can't everyone else?
17. Yes, my last name is Winfrey.  No, I am not related to Oprah.
18. I hate surprise poos.  Seriously, I wasn't ready for that.  The ghost poos are crazy, too.  Now, I just spent 10 minutes trying to get that bugger out and it just disappears?  Not cool, poo.  Not cool.
19. I always have a hair tie on my wrist.  My hair is barely long enough to even put it up....I think it's a security issue.
20. I don't care if I just stuffed my face with an all you can eat buffet, Paula Deen will still make me think I'm hungry.
21. I always say "righty tighty, lefty loosy" in my head when I use a screwdriver.
22. It seems to me that not-so-funny things always become hilarious when you're supposed to be quiet.
23. What exactly ARE eyebrows for?
24. How do people make something like skateboarding looks so easy?  I can barely stand on a skateboard without it sliding out from under me.
25. YOU are beautiful.  BELIEVE IT!!!

A Song To Blake From God

I dreamed of you,

Dreamed you into life.

Took all my favorite colors

And began with your eyes.

Found the purest blue

I'd ever seen

Just a speckle of tan

And a hint of green.

Chorus:

Now part of me is part of you.

Your daddy and mommy,

They're part of you, too.

Everything I dreamed came true

The night I created you.

I worked so hard

On your beautiful smile -

Added part of the sun

To the perfect style.

Your little nose I shaped just right

And made you beautiful in my sight.

Chorus

I'm sure someday

When you get big

You'll hate your nose

Or eyes or chin.

But don't forget

You're made with love.

Love from me,

Your father above.

Chorus

I dreamed of you

Dreamed you into life.

Took all my favorite colors

And began with your eyes.

I wrote Blake this song when he was about 9 months old.  I don't write actual music, so all I have is the words to a song.  I found a whole bunch of old stuff I had wrote to him and kept, so I'm posting some of it - lucky you!  Hope you enjoyed.



To Blake on 6.21.2006

Dear Blake,
My beautiful son, a letter to tell you how much you mean to me.

Your daddy and I were married on May 26th, 2001.  It was rainy - stormy to be exact - but the sun was so bright.  It is said that it is bad luck to have it rain on your wedding day.  It's a good thing we don't believe in luck.  On that day we thought our lives were complete.  Boy were we wrong.....

There is an inborn nature in a woman, my son.  They call this a biological clock.  No man can stop this clock for it is impossible.  With each "tick, tock" a woman hears "baby, baby", and with each passing day it only gets louder.  With many women, they don't have to hear it long before the miracle of pregnancy stops it.  Needless to say, I was not one of those women.

A year and a half after your daddy and I were married, God had begun His work.  Ever so gently, He placed you inside of me.  Since the beginning of time, He has been thinking of you, and with His perfect timing, His thoughts became a tangible part of my womb.

Blake David Winfrey will be your name - after your Grandpa Troyer.  A miracle in the making.  In one instant our lives as a couple changed.  We were parents.

In the first ultrasound at 11 1/2 weeks (the day after we found out), we saw you for the first time.  You were kicking both feet, seeming to have such a good time in there.  I knew exactly how you felt.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I see the changes my body makes as you grow inside me.  In awe, I wonder how a child can actually live inside of its mother.  I angrily question the morals of women who have had abortions.  How could they possibly???  I try to ignore all worry and fear as the due date approaches.  I want to meet you face to face.

On my due date, I am induced because I can't bear not seeing you for another day.  The pain is horrible, almost unbearable.  In my mind, I curse Eve.  It is all her fault.  But the pain subsides with and epidural.  I can enjoy this now!  As midnight rolls around, I begin the hour and a half of pushing. 

At 1:37a.m. you arrive.  Welcome to the world, Blake David!  In one second I was no longer the woman I used to be.  They lay you on my belly and my tears fall.  For a moment all time stands still as I look into your beautiful blue eyes.  My baby...my baby boy.  I've waited all my life for you...for this moment.  And right then I finally get it when my own mother would say "You don't know what love is until you have a child of your own."  A love that hurts.  A love that makes everything else in this world seem so small and the only feeling in the world that is pure and good is having your child in your arms.

It's been 2 1/2 years since that day and I still love you as much as I did at that moment.  Its seems you've grown so fast.  You've become so independent and yet some days so needy.  You get mad at me a lot and it hurts us both to discipline you, but it's for your own good I tell myself.  Someday you'll thank me!  I look at you sometimes in wonder - in disbelief.  You're mine.  All you know has come from me - and some from daddy, too.  I can't get enough of you.  Even when I'm at my wit's end because you've had a bad day, I just want to be loved by you.  I want to hold you in my arms and love on you.  I want to shelter you.  I never want to see you hurt.  I don't want you to go out into the world because it's not good enough for you.  I have so many dreams for you, but may they always stay dreams and not expectations.

Someday you will be a man.  My prayer is that you grow up loving and serving the God that gave you to me.  Love God and love others.  That is all I ask of you.

I love you, Blake...with a love you will never understand until you have your own child.  And when I hear you say "Mommy, I love you", at that moment nothing else in the world matters but you.  "I love you too, Blake".

Forever Ever
Mama
06.21.06

Savannah

We took our first trip to Savannah, GA over the week of July 4th.  We took my mom, who is 62, because she has never seen the ocean or tree covered mountains.  The trip was amazing.  We went to Paula Deen's The Lady and Sons restaurant, Uncle Bubba's, Tybee Island, and so many other great places.  Most of our outings were food related...well, because it's the south and that's what you do in the south!

This picture is of Jerry and Blake checking out the view from our hotel.  There were a lot of huge boats that went through here.  Blake wanted to stay and buy a house...if only...

The view from our balcony.

Mom and Carl

This is my mother's first time in the ocean.  The best part was that we were able to see dolphins - although we all thought they were sharks at first!  My mom sat at the edge of the water and let the waves wash her.  She loved it.  The best gift I've ever given.

This is a view that we saw on the way home.  I was so amazed.  It was almost like God was saying "Hey, look what I can do!"

The sites were beautiful.  Jerry commented that it's no wonder why the bible belt is in the south - with all the beautiful mountains, sunsets, etc., how can you not believe in God?

I agree.

My Hero

I was on my way to work the other day when I heard this song on the radio.  I was hooked instantly and Googled it to find out who it was...then I saw the video that someone made for it.

Then I cried.  Please watch.

The feeling I get when watching this cannot be put into words.  There is so much feeling, so much awe - I just can't describe the way it makes me feel.

I want to be worthy of the love that God has for me, but I never will be.

No one but Jesus has ever died for me.  No one but God loves me so much that they would sacrifice their child for me.

To know the pain, the agony, the shame, embarassment and grief that He went through  - for ME? - I will never understand.  I will never be grateful enough.

So I live my life everyday as a living sacrifice to the One who gave His life for me. 

I make mistakes.  As long as I live, I will make mistakes - but He loves me enough to forgive me - and for that...I owe Him my life.

Stark Raving Mad

So it begins.  I'm going to try this out and see how it goes and if - after some time - I have no followers...  Well, who knows.  I may like keeping my own little diary that no one cares about.  They're supposed to be secret anyway, right?

I don't know what this blog will be about yet, so don't everyone get all excited at one time.  I named it "Unhinged" because, well....that basically describes me most of the time.  I have random thoughts and I usually keep them to myself for common courtesy's sake of not wanting to offend people.  Maybe this will be my place to rant, vent, and just tell it like I see it.

I promise though that not every post will be about how the "American Idiot" annoyed me once again.  I will post happy thoughts as well because...well, my life is pretty awesome. 

I hope that by reading this, you will find a little bit of yourself in me - preferably the good stuff. 

Enjoy!
~Mary~