Call Me a Hippie...

So... I've been in kind of a poopy slump lately that I can't seem to get out of.  I don't want to go into great detail for a few reasons, but I feel like I just need to get it out.  I know that one of the biggest reasons I'm feeling stressed is because I haven't been in the Word like I should be.  My mind is constantly going in so many directions that it's hard to focus on what I need to; my way of dealing - ignore the problem! 

Okay, okay... it's wrong and I know it but for the love of Peter Gabriel - sometimes I just don't want to care.   Sometimes ... just sometimes, I just want to tell people how I really feel about them!  I'm finding myself getting really irritated with people when normally I wouldn't - or shouldn't.  I have a way of "turning the other cheek" when someone does something to me - which I will back 100% - but there is also a point at which enough is enough.  I just can't find that point; and even if I did, I don't know that I could put my foot down when that point was reached.

I personally think I am a happy person. I don't let a lot of things bother me. I don't deal with drama. I don't have time for it. I love my life. I love the people IN my life. I feel so blessed. Everyday. I think about all the people and material "things" that God has given me and sometimes I just sit in wonder and awe. God really does love me!  I have GOT to show that love to everyone!  EVERYONE - YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS FEELING!!!  The problem is that... well... there will always be something that tries to pull you away from this love - this feeling - and here I am letting it pull me away.

I've always been a "don't rock the boat" kind of person.  I hate making people mad - especially people I have to be around all the time. 

Give me a customer service person on the phone that I will never see or talk to again and I will battle to the death, but when it comes to a real face-to-face person...I'm out. 

 I'm all: "MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!"

I find myself thinking "Are you kidding me???  Are you really going to let them get away with that???  Say something!"  Then the "MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!" part of me says "Just let it go... it's not worth your time."  It's hard for me to find the happy medium (especially because I try to make EVERYONE happy). 

Truth is... I'm going absolutely insane trying to survive on a daily basis.

I feel bad for my amazing husband who gets the brunt of my sadness.  He's the one person that I know I can talk to - the one to whom I can confess all - yet I find myself pushing him away.  I don't want to make my problems his.  He's too good for them.  He's my refuge; how could I pollute him like that?  I want him to love the good part of me, not the angry, sad, hurt and damaged me. 

This is probably why they say "No one can love you unless you first love yourself."  He can't love those parts of me if he doesn't know about them.

So this is the part where I self-prescribe.  Quit ignoring your Father God.  Fathers know best.  Trust me on this - this one especially knows what He's doing.  By the way, remember that REALLY LONG LETTER HE WROTE TO YOU???  He wants you to read it.  Over and over.  Because He loves you.

A lot. 

Run back to Him.  He misses you.

Collage

I know it's been a long time since I've blogged on here and I honestly didn't think anyone actually read my blogs...but I have been asked about it so I thought I would start up again. 

I was bored today and thought about how fun it would be to make sort of an "online collage" of things that inspire me - things I love.  So I found a site that allowed me to make my own.  Here's a little piece of me.  ;)

This collage is actually such a huge part of me.  These pictures...they almost define me.  This is me.

Hey You!

I saw this while "stumbling" today.  I read it, then read it again. 

I love this.

Random Thoughts

Sometimes people annoy me.  Sometimes life is a little ridiculous.  Sometimes I think I'm the only person in the world who sees things the way they should be.  I know, I sound a bit egotistical but honestly I'm not.  It's just that......well....c'mon people, really?

So, I thought I'd share some of the things that randomly go through my head.  Some people should read this and take my advice.  Some are just thoughts.

1. If you are going to pull out in front of my fast moving vehicle, PLEASE at least go as fast as I was going.  I like my cruise control - I do not like my brakes.
2. I hate when people talk during a movie.  Especially a really good movie that I've already seen and I want them to watch.  Then, when they don't love it the way I do, something must be wrong with them. 
3. The same goes for a great song.  I want you to listen to the lyrics - be quiet and listen!
4. I'm sure you really enjoy the food you eat.  I don't want to hear you enjoy it.  Close your mouth.
5. If you can't talk on a phone and drive at the same time, quit doing one or the other.
6. Am I bored?  Or am I hungry?  Sometimes I can't tell the difference.
7. I hate asking "What?" when I didn't hear what you said.  Speak clearly, I don't understand mumblese.
8. Toddlers with pacifiers.  Enough said.
9. I'm pretty sure that every time I leave my house in my PJ's and no makeup, I run into someone I haven't seen in forever.  Really???  No, I do NOT look like this all the time!
10. Have you ever missed a call by half a second then you call that person back right away, they don't answer?  Where did you go???  You JUST called me!
11. I do NOT have a PhD.  I am NOT Dr. Phil.  I love you, seek help from someone who gets paid for it.  I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to say when my people complain about a problem that is a direct consequence of their actions.
12. I set my facebook profile to private because I don't want stalkers.  I however, like to stalk on facebook and I love when people show all their info!  No, I do not want to be your friend, but I will definitely scope out your profile.
13. I want to eat a starfruit, but I have no clue how to do it.  Do you peel it?  Just dig in?  I honestly had to look up directions on how to eat a pomegranate, too. 
14. YOU are the parent, not your child.
15. Of all the thousands of medications, why haven't they invented any cool ones yet?  The magic weight loss pill (I don't WANT to go on a diet, I just want a magic pill), the smart pill, the pretty pill, the magic tan pill....
16. I can tell when someone doesn't like me.  Why can't everyone else?
17. Yes, my last name is Winfrey.  No, I am not related to Oprah.
18. I hate surprise poos.  Seriously, I wasn't ready for that.  The ghost poos are crazy, too.  Now, I just spent 10 minutes trying to get that bugger out and it just disappears?  Not cool, poo.  Not cool.
19. I always have a hair tie on my wrist.  My hair is barely long enough to even put it up....I think it's a security issue.
20. I don't care if I just stuffed my face with an all you can eat buffet, Paula Deen will still make me think I'm hungry.
21. I always say "righty tighty, lefty loosy" in my head when I use a screwdriver.
22. It seems to me that not-so-funny things always become hilarious when you're supposed to be quiet.
23. What exactly ARE eyebrows for?
24. How do people make something like skateboarding looks so easy?  I can barely stand on a skateboard without it sliding out from under me.
25. YOU are beautiful.  BELIEVE IT!!!

A Song To Blake From God

I dreamed of you,

Dreamed you into life.

Took all my favorite colors

And began with your eyes.

Found the purest blue

I'd ever seen

Just a speckle of tan

And a hint of green.

Chorus:

Now part of me is part of you.

Your daddy and mommy,

They're part of you, too.

Everything I dreamed came true

The night I created you.

I worked so hard

On your beautiful smile -

Added part of the sun

To the perfect style.

Your little nose I shaped just right

And made you beautiful in my sight.

Chorus

I'm sure someday

When you get big

You'll hate your nose

Or eyes or chin.

But don't forget

You're made with love.

Love from me,

Your father above.

Chorus

I dreamed of you

Dreamed you into life.

Took all my favorite colors

And began with your eyes.

I wrote Blake this song when he was about 9 months old.  I don't write actual music, so all I have is the words to a song.  I found a whole bunch of old stuff I had wrote to him and kept, so I'm posting some of it - lucky you!  Hope you enjoyed.